Holidays

It is always interesting how the tiny things changing can have a huge effect on oneself. I mean LIFE changing.

Learning has always been an passion of mine. Just this weekend, I drove back up to White House to seem my old house from when I was little. A lot has changed in that town. However, I was gitty when I drove around and saw the old library - still located next to the athletic fields. I spent so much time in that library while the rest of the family was out enjoying softball. I never considered certain career fields. But with everything my family and I have been through, I am so excited to start considering being a counselor with a specialization in grief counseling. I am still working through everything I am going through, so why not continue that growth by helping others as well. The downside to this - I didn't take any of the pre-reqs in undergrad. So before I can apply, I need to complete statistics, abnormal psychology, and general psychology. Then I have to find a program and take the GRE.

But that is in the future. The big thing laying on my mind is the upcoming holidays. I know that we just entered September but when you live 11.5 hours away from home, it is important to start thinking about these things early. It is already decided that I am spending Christmas in VA Beach (or Harrisonburg). But what about Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is a hard time for my family. This year will be the 3rd anniversary of my mother's death. They say that is gets easier - but lets be honest. It doesn't! The decision becomes is it worth the money though. Everyone has different opinions.

My opinion = it is only worth it if I get to spend time with my family. That seems to be the issue though. Brittany has to work the day before/after so she isn't planning on coming home. Amber said she has to work too - but I would get to see her on Thanksgiving day. Dad doesn't have to work - BUT Bonnie wants to do something not in St. Louis. One thing I don't want to do - spend my entire holiday with my father and his girlfriend.

I don't think people sometimes understand the importance of holidays. The whole point is to spend time with the people you love. With my mom gone, it seems my family chooses to not "celebrate" because it is not the same. I get this. I miss her each day - it is a bottomless sadness. It is crazy to think that I don't have that nuclear family to return too.